Stop Losing Sleep: TRUST Method to Solve Night Wakings & Separation Anxiety (6–18 Months)

If you are tired and exhausted, constantly asking, “Why does my baby suddenly keep waking up at night?”—you are not alone. Night Wakings & Separation Anxiety are very common in babies between 6 and 18 months.

At this age, babies begin to understand that you are around them, even if they can not see you. This can make them feel worried or upset when you leave, especially at night.

Crying is their way of seeking comfort and reassurance. It’s a normal part of their emotional development. With patience, consistent routines, and gentle responses, babies gradually learn to feel safe and fall asleep on their own.

​In this post, you will learn simple TRUST Methods to address baby separation anxiety and night wakings, helping your little one feel secure, sleep better, and giving you more restful nights.

What is Separation Anxiety in Babies? 🤔

Separation anxiety is a normal and healthy stage of a child’s development, often causing nighttime awakenings and sleep disruptions between 6 and 18 months. During this stage, babies may cry, cling, or become upset when they can not see you.

Why It Happens: Around 6–9 months, babies start to notice when you leave. They feel worried or scared because they don’t understand that you will come back.

The Good News: This phase shows that your baby has a healthy, secure attachment to you! It usually improves as they grow and gain confidence in your return.

Why Babies Wake at Night: Two Main Causes ⚠️

When your 6-to-18-month-old suddenly starts waking or crying more often at night, there are usually two main reasons.

Physical Needs 🍽️🛏️

Before addressing emotional causes, first rule out the simple physical needs that might be interrupting sleep:

• Hunger or Growth Spurts: Your baby may be going through a rapid growth phase and might need an extra feed.
• Discomfort: A wet diaper, feeling too hot or cold, or teething pain can easily disturb sleep
• New Skills: If your baby just learned to crawl or stand, they may practice in the crib and cry when they get stuck.

Emotional Causes (The Separation Anxiety Alarm) 😢

Once your baby’s physical needs are met, the next step is to decode anxiety-driven cries. These cries are different from hunger or discomfort. Here’s how to recognize them:

• The “Alarm”: When your baby realizes you are not there, they may suddenly start a loud, high-pitched cry. It’s like a panic alarm—they feel alone and scared.
• The “Relief Trap”: When you come back, they calm down quickly because they feel safe again. But the moment you leave, the crying comes back strongly. This shows they’re upset about being separated, not just hungry or uncomfortable.

When you spot this pattern, you know it’s not hunger or discomfort, so the TRUST approach can guide your response.

Note: Frequent night awakenings around this time can also be linked to sleep regression, a common phase as your baby’s sleep patterns mature. Learn more and find practical solutions in our detailed guides: 4-Month, 6-Month, 8-Month, 12-Month and 18-Month Sleep Regression.

The TRUST Method to Solve Night Wakings & Separation Anxiety 🌙

The most effective way to help your baby through separation anxiety is to be patient, consistent, and gently responsive.

The goal is to balance offering comfort with encouraging self-soothing and independence.

Here’s a simpler, parent-friendly version of your TRUST guide:

T – Teach “I Always Return” During the Day 👋

Separation anxiety happens because your baby worries you might not come back. To help them feel safe, practice short separations during the day so they learn that you always return, and that helps them feel safe even at night.

• Play Peek-a-Boo: This simple game teaches your baby that when you disappear, you always come back. It builds trust in a fun way.
• Practice Short Separations: Step out of the room for a minute while your baby plays. Say, “I will be right back!” and return with a warm smile. Gradually increase the time you are away so your baby learns you always return.

R – Routine is Your Baby’s Security Blanket 🛌

A calm and predictable routine helps your baby feel safe and secure. Babies feel more secure when they know what to expect—having a consistent routine builds their trust and comfort.

• Keep it the Same: Follow the same bedtime steps every night—like a warm bath, a short story, a cuddle, and then the crib. This signals that it’s time to sleep.
• Stay Calm: Babies sense your emotions. Even if you’re tired or stressed, try to stay calm and gentle. Your calmness helps them relax and feel safe.

Check out Gentle Sleep Training (0–3 Years): Calm and Restful Nights with Expert-Backed Methods for more ideas on routines.

U – Use the “Check and Console” Approach 🤲

When your baby cries, respond quickly but keep it brief. This helps them feel reassured while still learning to self-soothe.

• Gentle Reassurance: Pat their back, speak softly, or offer a short cuddle to let them know you’re there.
• No New Crutches: Avoid rocking them fully or starting a new feeding routine. Let them learn to fall asleep in their crib.
• Be Consistent: Follow the same response each time so your baby knows what to expect and feels secure.

S – Secure the Sleep Environment 🧸

A safe and cozy sleep space helps your baby feel calm and sleep better.

• Comfort Item: For babies over 12 months, a soft toy or blanket can give comfort and security.
• Familiar Smells: For younger babies, place a piece of your clothing near the crib (but out of reach) so they sense your presence.
• Basics: Keep the room quiet, dim, and comfortably warm to create a peaceful sleep setting.

T – Time to Practice Alone ⏳

Give your baby small, supervised opportunities to fall asleep on their own. Short, positive experiences build confidence and help reduce separation anxiety over time.

• Let your baby try falling asleep alone for short times.
• Stay nearby, comfort them gently, and slowly increase the time.
• This builds confidence and reduces worry.

Consistency is the single most important factor for getting through separation anxiety.

• Calm Responses: Your baby mirrors your emotion. Responding calmly, even if you are exhausted, helps them feel safer.
• Stick to the Plan: Whether you choose to sit by the crib or only do quick check-ins, do the same thing every time. Consistency helps your baby feel safe and learn the new expected behavior faster.
• Celebrate Small Progress: Focus on the small wins—if your baby sleeps a little longer or only cries for two minutes instead of ten, it’s a big step forward. This phase is temporary, and with your gentle support, your baby will soon learn to sleep independently.

Remember to Prioritize Your Own Rest 💤

Here’s how to protect your own rest while supporting your little one:

• Take turns if possible: If you have a partner or support person, share nighttime duties. Even a short stretch of uninterrupted sleep can make a big difference.
• Nap strategically: Use your baby’s daytime naps to rest, even for 20–30 minutes, instead of catching up on chores.
• Simplify your evenings: Keep bedtime routines calm and manageable—avoid overloading yourself with tasks.
• Accept help: Don’t hesitate to ask family or friends to watch the baby for a short period so you can recharge.
• Stay mindful of your health: Hydrate, eat well, and give yourself small breaks to refresh your energy and mood.
• Practice self-compassion: Night wakings are temporary. Feeling tired or frustrated doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong—it’s a normal part of parenting.

By taking care of yourself, you’ll be better equipped to respond calmly to your baby, maintain consistency in routines, and handle this phase with patience. Remember: a rested parent helps a rested baby.

The Key Takeaway: This Is a Phase, Not a Permanent Problem💡

Separation anxiety is a temporary developmental phase that usually resolves in 2 to 6 weeks if you remain calm and consistent.

By sticking to the TRUST methods, you are teaching your baby a crucial, lifelong lesson: “I love you, I will always return, and you are safe even when I’m not right next to you.” This gentle approach builds long-term confidence and security, leading to better sleep for your whole family.

Which of the TRUST methods are you going to start applying today to fill your baby’s emotional tank? Share your experience in the comments and connect with other parents going through the same stage!

For related developmental sleep insights, check:

• Sleep Regression in Babies: Why It’s a Sign of Progress (and How to Celebrate It)
• Toddler Sleep Regression: How Neuroscience Can Help Your Child Sleep Better

FAQs About Night Wakings & Separation Anxiety❓

What age do babies typically experience separation anxiety?

Separation anxiety usually starts around 6–9 months and can continue up to 18 months.

Is it normal for my baby to wake up crying at night?

Yes! Night wakings are common at this age. Crying is your baby’s way of seeking comfort, reassurance, and security.

How can I tell if my baby’s cry is due to anxiety or hunger?

Anxiety cries are often sudden, high-pitched, and stop when you return—but resume as soon as you leave. Hunger cries are usually more gradual and persistent.

What’s the one biggest mistake parents make during this phase?

Inconsistency – Changing strategies often confuses the baby.

How long does separation anxiety usually last?

For most babies, the strongest phase lasts 2–6 weeks, though some may experience it intermittently over a few months.

Can bedtime routines really help with night wakings?

Yes! Predictable routines signal to your baby that it’s time to sleep and help them feel safe.

How can I encourage my baby to self-soothe?

Place your baby in the crib when drowsy but awake, and allow them to practice falling asleep on their own. Gradually increase distance if you stay nearby for comfort.

Should I worry if my baby wakes up multiple times at night?

Not necessarily. Frequent wakings are normal at this age and often related to developmental milestones or separation anxiety.

How can I protect my own sleep while helping my baby?

Share nighttime duties, nap strategically, simplify routines, accept help from family or friends, and take care of your own well-being.

When should I consult a pediatrician?

If your baby’s sleep problems are severe, prolonged, or accompanied by signs of illness or extreme distress, talk to your pediatrician for guidance.

References